i fucking lost my raybans for good, not in the car, not in the house, not in the purse, NOT ANYWHERE

CHAPTER 1congrats: today i realized and found out a few things about life, and about people. today one of my best friends heard the greatest news of her life, no she is not engaged, but she got into college, her top choice congrats to megan. (love you girl, hope you enjoyed the balloons and car deco) i also found out that another friend is going to fordham, wont say who, but you might find out soon (proud of you girl) 

CHAPTER 2 college: my life is in ruins currently, everyone is headed off to wonderful and amazing schools, and im just well not. i love the school i might be going to, believe me i can not wait, but my mom hates it and my dad loves it, i mean he’s has been telling me to go there from d1, and it makes me upset that i got rejected from my top choice, yes i finally said it, i got rejected from providence. it feels terrible because two of my great friends are going there and i am so happy for them, but i wish i could join them, but i cant because well i was rejected. i like some of the other schools i got into, but its just not the same. i have cried so many times about it and i know its not worth it giving my tears to something who doesn’t want me, but its hard, really hard. 

CHAPTER 3 prom: ughh i have a love hate relationship with prom. love looking for dresses (except not really because im overweight and don’t fit into like any) and i hate it because i hate having to find a date. yes i have to find a date, shocker. i go to an all girls school and well thats part of the package. i have absolutely no clue as to who im going to ask. its hard because every guy i know basically hates me. oh well, not in the mood to play the pitty lindsey game so if your a guy and you live in new york come to my prom :)

CHAPTER 4 friends: freshman year this word ment everything to me now, its sorta looks like rifedns all in gibrish and messed up, just like every girl, or most of them. i feel as if i have lost so many friends this year, and it is so sad, whether it be because of boyfriends, or other girls, or fights (not with me) or because they are drifting away. but all jokes aside i think i have a solid 2 friends, or people i can call my friends, everyone is just backstabbers and liars. i mean we all start gossip and drama, me included but this shit has to stop guys. i love you all, but i just can not handle this

CONCLUSION its time to share: im a huge loser, in my old school in my new school. what ever dont care - i have never had a boy friend, and i could not tell you why, my weight probs has something to do with it because guys want to be with skinny girls, which im obvi not - i cry everynight its a sad thing, but its true, my family doesnt know, but i guess if my sister reads this, because she has a tumblr now then she will. sigh. i cry because of college, i cry because of boys, i cry because of my weight, i cry because of my grades, i cry because i have nothing better to do. — so now i conclude, what is left to share. not quiet sure. but wherever this road leads me lets hope it only helps me, not push me back. 

xx ℓindsey